Why I Don't Want A House

No this isn't the millennial complaint of I can't afford a house, what I mean is not wanting, period, an actual physical stand alone house with a yard and a white picket fence.  Some people, usually much older adults who have downsized themselves understand where I'm coming from and agree with my decision, but it's everyone else who seems to think I'm nuts.  And I'm writing this to prove my point, so perhaps someone my age can look at this and say, yes, what she says is valid.

Now, some points Shadow and I agree on, others we have yet to come to an agreement, he grew up in actual houses, I only have lived in one as an adult.

In either case there are some points that regardless we need to consider, like the fact that we're both disabled and need to visit the doctor frequently.  This narrows our location options considerably.

Therefore, I must think like an older woman whose children have moved out and must care for not only my condition but my husband's as well.  So why not downsize from the very beginning?  Shadow and I both agree we don't want to deal with more than 750 to 800 square feet.  We want to be able to clean everything in one day and keep it moving.  Our stint in temporary housing also taught us that we don't need much and we don't have much left to fill a large space to begin with.

So we're certainly not going to get a house that small, but the issue is more than that.  It's the house itself.  Houses need work, houses require chores outside of the realm of my capabilities as well as Shadow's.  Who is going to clean the gutters, mow the lawn, prune the trees, shovel snow and all the other countless property work that must be done continuously?  We would have to pay a company to do all those things for us, which quite frankly is a waste of money.  This really is the main reason why larger houses had staff!  Even some of the houses here in Newark that have now been divided into multi family dwellings have servant quarters and stairs, usually the back ones that lead to the top floor which was not an attic.  One mother, no matter how much energy she had can not properly take care of over 2000 square feet.

Stairs is yet another reason why a house is out of the question.  I'm not climbing them just to get to my room, or going down them just to get to the laundry.  My knee is already damaged beyond repair and they will not replace it.  Which means why should I put myself in a position where I'm purposely putting more wear and tear on it?  I think not.

Living simply, efficiently, uncluttered and healthily are our main priorities.  And you would think that a small house upstate would fit that bill, but it doesn't.  Our health is important.  We want to be close to the best doctors and hospitals in the world, which we are, so why move away from that?  (Looking at you NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases)

Now that I've given what I don't want, here is what I do:

A small co-op or condo centrally located, where we can walk everywhere, like the pharmacy to get our meds, or to the farmers market to buy a shit ton of kale.  My kids are young, so I want to be able to walk no more than ten minutes to the park, or to their school.

I don't want to be higher than the 2nd or third floor of a building that has an elevator.  I want a co-op board that will approve my proposal for a Kohler walk in tub and to take out my kitchen cabinets to replace them with solid wood shelves with cast iron shelf brackets.  I also want to research flooring that is low impact on my joints.

There is a method to my madness.  I have psoriatic arthritis and whatever I can do to minimize my joint pain while living my day to day life, I'm going to try and do it.  These are things that Shadow and I have discussed and agreed on.  Why make our chronic pain filled lives more difficult?

Things need to be easy to clean and take care of, if we don't use something, than we don't need it.  Things that cause messes and clutter need to go.

Perhaps people can't see how sometimes I struggle with day to say tasks.  Maybe that's why they mostly dismiss my thoughts on housing, they're all house owners themselves, but they're also all able bodied.

I should probably start explaining it like this: where would you put your elderly mother who was sound of mind, fiercely independent but couldn't walk up stairs, and whose hands can no longer work the can opener?

I don't need an assisted living facility, I can't manage an entire house.  Thus a small cozy apartment is all I need and want to be comfortable.

Of course all this is just planning for right now.  Nothing is definite.  But I just needed to get this down on here since I was tired of people saying I'm stupid for not wanting a house.