How To Hide Your Witchy Ways From Your Parents

That's right kiddies, keep those toads hidden away!

Parents, they suck am I right?😝  I'm a mom to two kids, and my oldest knows he doesn't have to hide anything from his mama. When I was growing up however, it was a different story.  My mom didn't want to hear about Witchcraft or Wicca and my father would have blown a gasket.

Currently, I live with them again due to my disability, which means most of my heavily heathen ways must be kept under lock and key (it's still all in storage).

What I do have out is inconspicuous and does not overtly scream to them that I'm a Witch (old hag maybe, but not witch.😉)

Yes it's terrible that you can't be free, your true self and out of the broom closet so to speak, but this is for your parents sanity and more importantly, your safety.

Here are some tips I'd like to share:

Don't dress Goth.
👿 This screams devil worship and what not.  Wear a black t-shirt or paint your nails, but don't over do it if your parents hate it.  If your parents don't care, well then, more black lipstick and piercings for you!

Don't set up an altar.
🎎 I have a few crystals out, and my calendar.  For some strange reason they don't notice my Llewellyn's Witch's Calendar.  Keep things simple and don't put up a statue of the Horned God if they're going to yell at you or worse.  I would love to set up all my stuff as you see it on the background of this site, but they'd throw a fit of toddler proportions.

Keep your room clean.
🚯 This serves several purposes.  (I know, I'm such a mom!). First, this gives your parents less of a reason to enter your room and look around, second a neat room will be able to hide a few more witchy items on a night stand or bookshelf, especially if the floor is spotless and the books are aligned.  Third, magick can't be done in a cluttered space, trust me. Fourth, it'll be the only way you can properly put up wards to guard yourself and your room.

Don't purchase expensive tools.
🔪 I know it's really tempting to drop 100 bucks of your birthday money on that crystal wand or hand carved athame, but you don't need these things for an effective practice.  Let's say your parents raid your room and throw it all out, that's tools and money lost.  So save these purchases for when you're on your own. The stuff on my altar table above has been obtained slowly over the course of many years since I was 18, with money I earned.

Keep a nonchalant Book of Shadows.
📒 A simple three or five subject spiral notebook or even a binder where you can move pages is perfect for this.  Don't decorate the outside of it, hell, label it math or something.  Inside, go to town.  Trust me, no parent is going through their kids math notebook.  This is going to be the bulk of your magical training, worship and practice.  For right now, don't keep separate notebooks.  Do spells, dreams, tarot, tools, herbs, everything in here.  Draw your dream altar, list tools and prices for later on.  Work your magick in here too.  Keep track of what books you've read and which titles you want to. This notebook is your current life as a witch.

Keep what you do have hidden.
📦 As a teen I did have a few things I saved up for, like tarot cards and a few other trinkets.  So I made myself a trinket box.  Keep all your stuff neatly tucked away in a box under the bed or on a shelf.  Right now I have some things in a simple plastic box from Dollar Tree.  It serves it's purpose well, high on a shelf where the baby can't get it and it's so mundane that no one thinks twice.  Currently it has the parchment we wrote our Beltaine wishes on.

Those are my major tips out of the way.  Now on to something a little different.

Let's say your mom and dad are ok with you exploring a different religion and want more info from you because you know us parents are terrible at internetting.  Most of you guys are coming from Christianity (I have yet to meet a Jew turned Witch, please comment if you are, I gots questions!).  So here is the deal, we all know the Jesus horn tooters really took Pagan practices and changed some names and dates, it's like bootleg Versace.  When they ask you about it, don't enlighten them, instead bring up Christian Wicca.  Now, I don't follow this myself but I can give you the jist of it.  Basically, what you're going to lie about (or not if you choose to follow Christ, he's cool in his natural Jewish form) is that you are still engaging in a relationship with Jesus, but you are choosing to worship him in a different way, through nature, not church.  Got it?  You LOVE Jesus, he's your man, wine and bread and all that jazz, but there are other ways to commune with him.  For example.  Why do you need a priest to light candles and incense if you can do that all by yourself and talk to the Lord?  Hmm?!  Don't mention circles and cones of power.  Keep it plebeian (that's such a great joke! 😂).  See what other fibs and creative lies you can come up with, there are so many parallels besides my example.

As for those of you who are flat out allowed to do and worship whoever and whatever you want; awesome.  You have excellent open minded parents.  Be that person to your kids too, and keep passing it on.  There are too many stigmatized humans on this planet.

Anything else you want covered?  Specific answers to your particular dilemma?  Comment below or in the communities.  Mama Spiral is here to help.

Blessed Be!
🌛🌝🌜

😂 Plebeians! Seriously look that up.  So funny.