Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Swollen Knee; specifically the right one.

My right knee is swollen again.  It sucks.  It hurts, and my rheumatologist appointment is two weeks from now.  I requested some Meloxicam, not that it would do anything but give me heart palpitations, but it's worth a shot.  Right now I'm taking 1000mg of Ibuprofen and that's just taking the edge off.  People keep telling me to ask for Percocet (most likely because they want some too).  People here think that Percocet is a cure all.  Pregnant?  Percocet.  Shot in the leg? Percocet.  Sore throat?  Better get some percs!  The problem with Percocet is that it is in no way shape or form an anti-inflammatory medication.  While my knee is painful, I'm not dying.  I need the swelling to go down, not to be drugged up and high!

I've tried so many things for my illness.  So far nothing has worked for the joint pain.  Either I need a higher dosage of Humira or some other drug.

I feel as if Humira won't work until I start becoming sick, as in a cold.  See, only during pregnancy do I get colds, and only during pregnancy am I not in pain.  So therefor, the doctors must knock my immune system down enough so that I am at pregnancy levels and will be able to get a cold and fever.  This is my logic, and it makes perfect sense to me.

Meanwhile, I am surrounded by crystals, a grid on my right, a GIANT quartz on my left, several pieces on my neck, as well as a newly gifted piece, a Quantum Balance Crystal, which I must say, I do see a difference with and will be writing a review probably tomorrow for a Google+ group I belong too.

But still, like Kim Kardashians ass, my knee does rise.

(I know, I couldn't help myself)

An herbalist told me that I need to lay off dairy and wheat.  The auto immune protocol diet says I should lay off that and all grains and legumes, also eggs are apparently the devil.  You tubers, that wonderfully narcissistic bunch, say I need to go vegetarian, or vegan, or raw vegan, but bone broth is ok, and honey is antiseptic.  I should be consuming fermented foods at least twice a day, drinking apple cider vinegar, bathing in the stuff, and taking a high quality probiotic.

On top of all that, YouTube says I suffer from vitamin D deficiency, leaky gut, parasites and ring worm.

I have an auto immune disease.

Mine is like the opposite of HIV.  I have sky high platelets, and no sickness.  It's like my body is superman fighting off thousands of criminals all at once, except there really are none.

So what do I do after I've tried everything?

The problem is, my mind has a zest to live, while my joints are all like "yeah, fuck you, we ain't goin' out ever again."

I just want to not have a swollen knee.

Is that too much to ask?

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Back From Florida

I've been back for a while now, but terribly lazy and in pain.  Really, the pain gets bad and then worse, I haven't really had a "good" day in a long time.  It's safe to say that this particular dosage of Humira isn't working.

I thought being in Florida for a few weeks would make me feel better, but sadly it didn't.  If anything I had more bad days there.  It also made me realize that I truly need to get my family out of this hell hole.  It's just not good for me any more.  It's too much stress and way too toxic.

Just yesterday these two heroin addicts from the neighborhood that Shadow always seems to get stuck in conversation with, came right up to our door, they've been knocking and ringing the bell, looking to make a quick buck because they know he has a huge box of e-ciggs to sell.

It's becoming unbearable, seriously.

The other problem is that of course Shadow doesn't listen to me.  Apparently he has "trust and anxiety" issues.  Well poo poo to that!  I told him to bring the packets to Washington Square park on the day of Pagan Pride, so this way he can sell them to NYU students and tourists around the fountain, hell he might also be able to sell his jewelry there as well.  I am the beautiful brains of this whole operation (us as a couple) and he needs to listen to me!

This whole situation is stressing me out, and that in turn is making me more ill.

I need a vacation from my vacation, like just by myself, without my babies, and certainly without Shadow.

I have grandiose dreams of sailing on the Queen Mary 2.  She's a fine vessel, sea worthy and filled with old farts.  Just my type of boat.  Also, one does not cruise on the QM2, one does a crossing.  I want to do a crossing.  It would be absolutely lovely to sail to and from England.  I would have tea every day and soak up the sun on the promenade.  Treat myself to a message and relax with a good book.  Say good bye to technology and concentrate on writing in a good old fashioned Moleskine with a fountain pen (I do this all the time anyway).

I don't have money but at least I can dream...