Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Why One Shouldn't Troll The Pagan Community

I shouldn't be writing this.  It should be self explanatory, but trolls aren't exactly the brightest crayons in the box.

Many Pagans practice Witchcraft.

Some, are Wiccan and must abide the rule of three as well as the major tenant "an it harm none".

Keeping those two things in mind, we practice magick and some of us don't follow the above.

With this information, why, oh why would you choose to harass a bunch of witches?

The Wiccan may say, turn the other cheek, or try to feed the correct info, and then there are the others who may or may not cast something on your account and in turn: you; simply because you pissed them off.

Harassing us is not safe.

Yes, this is a threat, no we aren't all light and love, and you should know this. I'm not talking out of my ass here.

Like seriously.  We can bind you, or curse you (I'm Greek, my entire religion relies on curses with the help of the Gods), some may do worse.

And yet, you find it fun to bother us.  The one community that can psychically kick your ass.

Good for you for being dumb, especially if you're 12.  I get it, the kids at school make fun of you.  You're a geek, you like anime and you're obese.  Fine, whatever, but, it's not ok to take your anger out on us.

When one dons the mask of the internet, you are given power.  Power that you probably don't have at school.  So why use that power to fuck with a bunch of people who could do some serious harm?  Why not use that power to fuck with people that need to be fucked with?

The following is a list of people that in my opinion need some serious trolling:

Donald Trump (an exceptionally easy target)
Pedophiles (this is the most fun)
Vegans (sorry, but not sorry)
Hipsters (especially the rich ones who insist on looking homeless while drinking six dollar coffee).

The list could go on.

Just leave us alone.  It's that simple.

Or else, you're gonna fucking regret it.

We worship thousands of different deities.


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Samhain 2017

Shadow and Ana on Halloween.

Perhaps this post will give you an idea of what it's like celebrating Samhain as a pagan family.  Many of you are solitary or hoping that once you are in a relationship that you will have a partner in crime so to speak.

We don't live this life glamorously.  It seems that Witchcraft is "in" again and that means so is black lipstick, nails and skulls on book cases.  All that stuff is fun, I'm typing this right now with deep plum nails, but that stuff's not important. What is important for us is our family.  Celebrating together, spending time together while taking time to acknowledging our ancestors, Witches before us, as well as the Gods and Goddesses.

We're not the most devout or spiritual people on the planet, but we left Christianity for a reason.  Holidays turned too commercial, all about money and with too much pressure to appear perfect.

Shadow and I are not perfect.  Far from it, and that's ok.  We get candle wax everywhere during spells, we spill essential oils, and on some Sabbaths, we haven't done anything at all.  That too is ok.

This year, with our family separated, we did the best we could with the resources we have.  Our daughter had three days of fun and candy and dressing up, and now we're all Halloweened out.

For a family like us who is living with very little cash, free things are a blessing.  If you have kids or when you do, search local events that are free.  We're lucky that we live so close to NYC where there is an abundance of free or low cost programs.

Our Halloween celebration actually started last week.  The M&M company gives out free costumes and treat bags every year at the rec center here in Newark.  My son isn't here during the week so it was just me and Ana, but I managed to get a treat bag for him anyway.

Ana in her new fairy costume.

Our next free event Dino was home for, so we traveled to Belleville for an event that we have gone to for three years in a row now.  It's completely free, and the kids each get a pumpkin, snacks, popcorn, hot cocoa and can play on a few bouncy rides.  Here is Dino helping Ana climb one:

I wasn't able to get a costume for Dino, but using some basic makeup I did a simple dead/zombie/skull face.  (I do not recommend Katy Perry's CoverGirl eyeliner, it's just not great.)

The third and final free event was in East Midtown.  There, we met up with Shadow and were given bags, a map and other little treats.  Ana was able to get her face painted and we got free photo booth pictures.

Walking around the neighborhood was fun but tiring.  At least we got to see some cool little shops (not that we can afford them).  We ended our trick or treating at the 58th street library where Ana was able to play and read.  She also got a free book, a little draw string bag and a pencil.  I also managed to check out Dan Brown's new novel Origin, since the wait list at midtown is 300 holds long.

After all this we learned about the attack downtown and had to avoid the area.  We were lucky, I had planned to go back home via the WTC Path train so I'd avoid the crowds on the 33rd St Path.  I took the bus (you stay above ground when shit's going down), and on my transfer to the M42, we saw at least 20 or more emergency vehicles of all types passing all in a row.  The UN is at the East end of 42nd, so I don't know where they were going.  That's the one downfall to living in one of the most famous cities in the world, it can get crazy and incredibly dangerous.

I hope everyone had a great Samhain/Halloween.  Don't eat too much ๐Ÿฌ but do take a moment to thank those Witches who came before us.

Blessed Be!

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Why I Don't Want A House

No this isn't the millennial complaint of I can't afford a house, what I mean is not wanting, period, an actual physical stand alone house with a yard and a white picket fence.  Some people, usually much older adults who have downsized themselves understand where I'm coming from and agree with my decision, but it's everyone else who seems to think I'm nuts.  And I'm writing this to prove my point, so perhaps someone my age can look at this and say, yes, what she says is valid.

Now, some points Shadow and I agree on, others we have yet to come to an agreement, he grew up in actual houses, I only have lived in one as an adult.

In either case there are some points that regardless we need to consider, like the fact that we're both disabled and need to visit the doctor frequently.  This narrows our location options considerably.

Therefore, I must think like an older woman whose children have moved out and must care for not only my condition but my husband's as well.  So why not downsize from the very beginning?  Shadow and I both agree we don't want to deal with more than 750 to 800 square feet.  We want to be able to clean everything in one day and keep it moving.  Our stint in temporary housing also taught us that we don't need much and we don't have much left to fill a large space to begin with.

So we're certainly not going to get a house that small, but the issue is more than that.  It's the house itself.  Houses need work, houses require chores outside of the realm of my capabilities as well as Shadow's.  Who is going to clean the gutters, mow the lawn, prune the trees, shovel snow and all the other countless property work that must be done continuously?  We would have to pay a company to do all those things for us, which quite frankly is a waste of money.  This really is the main reason why larger houses had staff!  Even some of the houses here in Newark that have now been divided into multi family dwellings have servant quarters and stairs, usually the back ones that lead to the top floor which was not an attic.  One mother, no matter how much energy she had can not properly take care of over 2000 square feet.

Stairs is yet another reason why a house is out of the question.  I'm not climbing them just to get to my room, or going down them just to get to the laundry.  My knee is already damaged beyond repair and they will not replace it.  Which means why should I put myself in a position where I'm purposely putting more wear and tear on it?  I think not.

Living simply, efficiently, uncluttered and healthily are our main priorities.  And you would think that a small house upstate would fit that bill, but it doesn't.  Our health is important.  We want to be close to the best doctors and hospitals in the world, which we are, so why move away from that?  (Looking at you NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases)

Now that I've given what I don't want, here is what I do:

A small co-op or condo centrally located, where we can walk everywhere, like the pharmacy to get our meds, or to the farmers market to buy a shit ton of kale.  My kids are young, so I want to be able to walk no more than ten minutes to the park, or to their school.

I don't want to be higher than the 2nd or third floor of a building that has an elevator.  I want a co-op board that will approve my proposal for a Kohler walk in tub and to take out my kitchen cabinets to replace them with solid wood shelves with cast iron shelf brackets.  I also want to research flooring that is low impact on my joints.

There is a method to my madness.  I have psoriatic arthritis and whatever I can do to minimize my joint pain while living my day to day life, I'm going to try and do it.  These are things that Shadow and I have discussed and agreed on.  Why make our chronic pain filled lives more difficult?

Things need to be easy to clean and take care of, if we don't use something, than we don't need it.  Things that cause messes and clutter need to go.

Perhaps people can't see how sometimes I struggle with day to say tasks.  Maybe that's why they mostly dismiss my thoughts on housing, they're all house owners themselves, but they're also all able bodied.

I should probably start explaining it like this: where would you put your elderly mother who was sound of mind, fiercely independent but couldn't walk up stairs, and whose hands can no longer work the can opener?

I don't need an assisted living facility, I can't manage an entire house.  Thus a small cozy apartment is all I need and want to be comfortable.

Of course all this is just planning for right now.  Nothing is definite.  But I just needed to get this down on here since I was tired of people saying I'm stupid for not wanting a house.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Divided By Three

This isn't a post about the law of three or any such Wiccan or Pagan tenant.  This is personal and quite frankly it's taken me well over a month to post this, because I had to muster the strength to do so.

It is my family that is divided.  At the very moment that I type this, my son is at his father's house from Monday to Friday.  Shadow is in a men's shelter in Manhattan and I and our daughter are in an apartment in NJ where my parents are taking care of us till we get "back on our feet".

It's heartbreaking.  I had to get this out tonight because Shadow and I were nearly in tears as we separated and tried to say goodbye to our daughter who cried "no dada, come home".

Home is always where your family is.  It's not a physical location, it's the act of being together no matter where you are.  I want people to understand that.  Many pagans don't feel at home with their families because they just don't understand their spiritual beliefs.  I can't in good conscience call that a home.  To some people, school is a home.  It was to me for four years of highschool because I had my friends who truly loved me and cared for me.

When we grow up with such discordance, we vow to make our own homes, our own families, that will be loving and caring and way better than what we suffered through living with "them".

I did exactly that.  I was lucky to make a good home with my sister and my son while he was little.  Then Shadow became more than a friend and we made another home and added our daughter to really complete our family.

If you've read about our other adventures in Wiccan adulthood, then you know we have not been blessed in the health department the past two years and that's yet another reason why this is so difficult.

We've been through sickness and not much health, but it's each other that we lean on.  Our faith in the God and Goddess that we turn to.  My parents don't understand that.  They also don't understand the true extent of our respective illnesses and disabilities.

We're stuck in a very difficult place right now.  We both need to get better.  That's number one.  Second is taking care of our children.  Third is making the most of our time together because we only see each other once a week and even then, sometimes it's not all of us.

Since my son is older, I needn't worry about him too much.  I believe I have spoken about his ability to astral project before.  He often tells me how he visits me at night to check up on me.  One time, he even came into a dream, where I said, you're not supposed to be back yet, to which he replied, I know mommy, and drifted off giggling.  That's my son for you.  He's a bit of a trickster and we all love him so much.

Anyway, there were signs to today that things are looking up.  While getting off the train at Union Square, we happened upon a hematite bracelet, which we gave to our daughter to wear.  She is the link in our chain that keeps us bonded forever.  We prayed for this baby, we asked the Goddess to protect this baby, she is her father's whole world, just as my son is mine.  The other thing that happened was we saw Angel at his usual corner.  He is the gentleman and spiritual healer we purchase our crystals from.  He has often been in trouble with the police (for allegedly selling religious items which is against the law), so seeing him with his table full of crystals was a great and welcoming sign.

So that's where Shadow and I stand.  Separated by distance.

Blessed Be!

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Christians Living A Pagan/New Age Life Style

This bothers me, it gets on my nerves, I know it shouldn't but still, sometimes I just want to be really nasty and scream: those are our things!๐Ÿ˜ค

Essential oils, green living, crystals, you name it, but these are all the items that we as pagans subscribe to in our daily lives, minus one thing: the Bible.

I just don't get how a person who calls themselves Christian can openly use these new age items and still sit there and praise the Lord.๐Ÿ˜ฒ

Or, is it because they're on YouTube, where everyone wants viewers and subscribers, do they claim to be Christian when they're actually not?๐Ÿ˜•

Here is an example, on the comment section of one such Green non witchy vlogger, someone wrote that they didn't understand how people who say they follow the Bible can still eat "swine".  The Bible has loads of little rules that Christians don't follow but Muslims and Jews do, and yet it's all the same damn God and book!

So, how can you fill your home with items used by pagans and still call yourself a Christian?  I ask again.

Are you hiding your true pagan self because paganism still doesn't sell?

When I shop at Whole Foods in Manhattan, besides the yuppies who work in lower Manhattan, the people who fill the store are what one would call hippies.  Vegans who don't use deodorant, only wear organic cotton that's tie dyed, Birkenstocks, and are in their late 60's early 70's. They don't dye their greying hair, they eat raw veg, and actually enjoy hemp seeds as a snack.

You get the picture.  They wear crystals, they've seen some shit, did acid ๐Ÿ˜ต and still smoke copious amounts of kush ๐Ÿšฌ. They will be the first ones who tell you that God's a woman and we have to take care of Mother Earth.

This is why it thoroughly confuses the hell outta me and throws me off so badly when a Christian starts touting a green life style.

I'm gonna be a bitch here and say it's kinda cultural appropriation.  It's our shit and you can't have it.  Stick to your Jesus, his book, and stop mixing the two.

I don't know which makes me angrier, poser teens or these Christian green lifers! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I'm done ranting๐Ÿ˜ฐ, I know I'm supposed to be better than that, but it just really sucks, because we're still looked down upon, we're "evil", we "corrupt children", and everything else we do, that they don't.  They can use our things and not be judged, people tell them they're blessed and happy and Jesus loves them.

Do we need to take back our shit?  Or should we just let it go.  Cause I kinda don't want to.  What are your thoughts?

Blessed Be!

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Missing My Shadow

Shadow standing in front of Trump Tower on 5th Ave.

No, I'm not literally missing my shadow.(Isn't that a mark of vampires or some such being?  You already know how I feel about them.)

I'm missing Shadow, my man, my baby's daddy, my lover, my partner in crime (that oh so sexy bearded man pictured above) and fellow practitioner of the craft.

Last time, I was on vacation by myself with the kids (going to various doctors is a full time job for him and can't be missed) but I didn't miss him.  In fact I purposely said some mean words and a whole lot of other things because I was angry and upset and tired of feeling like I'm going to kiel over and die all the damn time. I was sick to death of him forgetting to use his CPAP machine, I was beyond angry at how one minute I couldn't walk and the next neither could he, on top of all my joints being severely swollen, his back causing him to scream in pain and fucking all else.  We've been through fucking hell ๐ŸŒ‹!

Nonetheless, I love him...๐Ÿ’

I love him, truly and deeply, and while yes it's nice to be away, it's annoying because we've never been on vacation together even though we've made plans several times (again, my auto immune disease and his spinal injury).

We also didn't want to go on the typical couples weekend away of sun and beach or a cruise or Las Vegas or something dumb like that.

We had bigger dreams, spiritual dreams, dreams only two highly seasoned Wiccans/Pagans can have!

Mother Fucking STONEHENGE.

Other places we've discussed:
Salem, MA (๐Ÿ”ฎDuh!)
Cairo, Egypt (too much turmoil)
Athens, Greece (my Homeland, which I shall rant about at a later date because it's a story so steeped in American stupidity that: forgettaboutit.)
San Francisco, CA (his home town๐Ÿš‹)
Arizona (Crystal๐Ÿ’Ž digging)
Williamsburg, Virginia (I like history ok?!)
Colorado (420 ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿšฌ)
Mohonk Mountain House in upstate NY (very specific and if you see pictures you'll understand it's a historians/paranormalphile/Pagan's drug of choice, even Anthony Bourdain has been there)

There are other places, but that's basically it.

One day we will get there.  When all has healed and we are in a settled place we shall go.

That's the whole shitty thing about this in sickness and in health crap.  You never know which end of the stick you'll get as a couple.  We were fucking slammed, Shanghaied, brutalized and left to rot with sickness.

Yet, we're alive.  We made it through the hurricane, Shadow (thank the Gods) isn't dead or paralyzed, he can walk with a cane even though his legs are partially numb.  I'm not in a wheelchair even though I was pretty damned close, but I'm left with damaged joints beyond repair.  We have faith yes and have done countless rituals, spells, healings and protections, but on the muggle side of things we still have to visit all the doctors (like I said before, a full time job for him) go to other appointments, do page after page of paperwork and still raise our kids and keep our place of understanding secure.

So when I get back to NYC, I'm going to hold him and hug him and love him and give him a giant kiss ๐Ÿ˜˜.

As soon as we're better and used to our new normal we're going to take that much earned trip with each other and fuck all else.

Blessed Be!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

The Subway Preacher

I see them nearly everyday.  Often there are strings of them from different denominations of Christianity in one spot near the 7 on 42nd Street.

On 5th Ave near Bryant Park, there are a group of Chinese marchers yelling something unintelligible about Jesus.

In Forest Hills, on the corner of Queens Blvd and Continental, there are two Jews who have asked me if I was Jewish (I have honestly never been asked this, usually it's "are you Puerto Rican?" In Spanish).  The younger man handed me a card explaining some such Jewish thing while what I can only describe as the gaudiest of Israeli/Hebrew discotech music blared on a speaker.

I wanted to say something fresh, something degrading.  Like, something about their missing foreskins. Something like, did you know my people wouldn't let your people participate in the Olympic games because your glans were showing?!๐Ÿ˜‚. It's asinine and anti-Semitic.

Sometimes I want to tell the African ones that they need to stop worshiping a Caucasian Jew.

"Go back to your roots!" I want to yell.

"The white man brainwashed your brothers when they enslaved them!"

There are just so many good lines.

And this got me thinking.  What if, as a social experiment someone preached about African tribal Gods?

I thought it would make a very good short story at least.  So I may file it in the recesses of my mind and write it later.

People would get angry.  People love Jesus.

But would it make them stop and think?  Like really, truly soul searching contemplation.

I mean, I am one of those people who went back to my Gods.  The Greek pantheon who have lived on in "myths", but one could call the books of the Bible the exact same shit.  It's all allegory.

None of it is meant to be taken literally.

So how do these otherwise educated African immigrants start spewing this bullshit in the grimy tunnels of the New York City subway system?  Why come and save our souls?  Doesn't Christianity teach you to save those who are less fortunate?  Many peoples on the continent are on the brink of starvation.  Why preach to rich, obese Americans?  The poor New Yorkers who ride the subway aren't going to suddenly convert and save your kids!  It's our kids that need food, and Nike sneakers and the new thousand dollar iPad.

What makes them believe so fiercely in some dead Jewish man?  They spent years studying mathematics and literature and countless other topics, yet their minds seem so closed when all that knowledge should have expanded their thinking.

One day, there could be a man telling you that you're wrong.  That the God you worship snuck into your life forcefully, and that you as a depressed, downtrodden, neglected American need to meet the real Gods of your ancestors.  They have been forgotten for too long, and look what it got you?  Misery!  The cultures of the past were rich, thriving and learned. They all had one thing in common, their collapse after the white man came in preaching his "Savior".

His Jesus of Nazareth.  This Christ who had been resurrected.

Alithos Anesti!

Praise sent out in my mother tongue, an ancient language left mostly unaltered for thousands of years.

What is your vernacular?

Would you stand in a crowded hub and preach your true Gods?

Blessed Be!