Sunday, March 27, 2016

Thoughts on Marriage

Being married was always one of those things I just thought I was supposed to do when I was younger.  I was essentially groomed to be a housewife.  I can cook, I can clean, I can knit, and sew buttons back on shirts.  Boring stuff really, but there is a certain rhythm to it all that I enjoy.  The problem is, while I pondered about what made a couple decide which side of the bed they'd each sleep on, there was a shit ton of other stuff that I never thought of and no one ever tells you about.

There is the house keeping, which as I have said, I was taught to do it all myself, but I see from reading or watching TV that some couples act as if they are merely house mates and divide the work evenly.  I can not allow Shadow to do dishes, he is horrible at it.  He's actually horrible at many chores if and when he does decide to help out.  So, I get mad and shoo him out with the broom... on the head, or the leg, usually the leg.

Now, we are not married.  He's never even asked me to marry him.  I don't have a ring.  The reality is, even if I did, I couldn't wear it due to my arthritis.  But what do married people do?  Was I supposed to do research before I decided to live with him, before I said, hey, I'm getting old, put a baby in me now?  I don't know.  When did I decide in my right mind that it was ok to hunker down with someone for the rest of his life?  (He'll die first, he has bad habits.)  Are human beings even meant to be in this type of relationship?  Maybe we're supposed to be like dolphins and randomly have sex with strangers.

Sometimes I think, maybe he's the only one who will ever be able to put up with my bullshit.  After all, I produce quite a lot, or so I've been told.  I am, of course, not ashamed.  It's who I am.  I'm proud to be who I am, and love myself.  I agree when Whoopi said that you shouldn't be with someone who "completes" you.  If you're not a complete human being all by yourself, then you have no right to be with anyone.  However, what if it's the other person who you have a sneaking suspicion isn't complete, or hasn't really "grown up", or every woman's complaint: "matured".  Do you then help them grow up?  What about those people who "grow" together as a couple?  I think they should have had there shit straightened up before they got together.

Was I supposed to ask myself what it was exactly that I wanted out of a relationship?  Is that another thing that someone does?  People wait for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but during that waiting, did you figure out what you were going to do with the damn person after you bumped uglys?

There are books on the subject, happy marriages, successful marriages, I'm sure some poor soul wrote  about how not to get a divorce, and I'm sure they're still miserable, all the while convincing themselves they're really happy (either that, or the sex is excellent).  It's obvious by the extremely high divorce rate (I've read sometimes as high as 50%), that marriages don't last or work (and the authors still make money and lawyers still get paid).  It is obvious that other people have had these questions and other people have tried to answer them with varying degrees of success.

I used to tell people my theory on how I would know when I found "the one".  I said, that it's like how it's always been with my two sisters, if the man can take a shit while I'm brushing my teeth and vice versa, then that is the man I need to be with.  Well, people don't like that.  Apparently defecating is supposed to be a matter of privacy.  One woman, who was supposed to be my adviser, who had never been married, and I suspected was a lesbian, said I was disgusting, and that a true marriage was not about sex or anything else, but true love, and being able to eat breakfast together quietly in the morning while sipping on coffee and simply enjoying each other's company.


Yes, I enjoy eating breakfast with Shadow, we've never done it quietly, but there has to be more to it than that.  You each have to be completely and utterly comfortable with one another.  If the other person has a pimple on their ass, then you must be brave and pop it, when you throw up on the floor, but are too sick to clean it, then the other person must have the strength to mop it up.  This is the gross and the nasty, through sickness and through health.  We've been there, done that, Shadow has watched me give birth to our daughter.  I think this is the end all when it comes to sheer stomach power.

Is there more?  And what of sex?  I've always thought those people who marry as virgins are either lying about their virginity, or fucking idiots.  It brings to mind RuPaul's "if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"  All people regardless of orientation, gender, whatever it is human beings are identifying themselves with these days, should not only masturbate, but have SAFE sex with as many other humans as you'd like.  This way, when you do wind up with "the one" you're not "used goods", but a primed, well oiled machine with experience in both creating and receiving orgasms.

Shadow and I already have the taking care of children thing down.  That's the easy part.  It's the relationship aspect, the "we as a couple" part that hasn't yet clicked for me, and I don't really understand why.  Perhaps I'm questioning too much.  Maybe, these are things I will just come to realize over time.  I don't know.  "Our life" is exponentially more complicated than just "my life", which just complicates my life even more.

I'm hoping that one day I figure this whole thing out.  In the end I could say that marriage is yet another one of societies constructs, but people tend to be quite touchy when I say such things.  And actually, I do enjoy making people angry with my opinions.  That means they're really thinking about it.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Bye Bye Knit Picks Community

For years I kept a separate knitting related blog on the Knit Picks website, then life happened, and I didn't post for a long time.  I also didn't do the prolific amount of knitting that I had in the past.   It was fun seeing other peoples pictures of their own handiwork and to get comments on the creations I personally made.  Over the years however it seems, that only one person continued to post.

Now today, I open my email to see that they are closing that section of the website.  I guess cause it was so inactive.  Tons of people are on Ravelry, but I guess they forgot about the Knit Picks community.  Oh well.

I suppose now, I shall link this one to Ravelry and see what happens.  Perhaps people will judge me, that would be interesting.

Anyway, from time to time, there will be pictures of knitting, like this one:

See?  It's fun.  This was a bonnet I made for my sister's baby.  It's cute.  That's what I do, I made adorable things.

Here is a fun picture of Shadow with Ana.  She was screaming and having none of it.

Isn't he handsome? Ana is cute too!

So I guess that's an end of an era.  In the end it's easier to have everything combined anyway!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Being More Naturally Conscious When Dirt Poor

So, we're poor.  Like foodstamps and welfare poor.  No joke.  But the problem with being on emergency assistance (it really was an emergency, more on that at another time) is that it leaves little wiggle room for buying organic and "all natural".  We can't go and spend five hundred dollars on a complete set of Young Living or doTERRA essential oils.  Most organic foods are out of the question unless it's in season fruit or veg that is on sale.  Hell, we used to buy the olives from the olive bar at Whole Foods along with sliced chorizo that cost 19.99 a pound (it's is GODLY by the way and I highly recommend it).  But we can't do that anymore.

So what can we do?  Well, we have always cooked our food from scratch, it saves mad money and sometimes allows us to purchase the better quality ingredients.  We use vinegar to clean everything so we don't have to buy cleaning supplies, not even bleach, cause bleach stinks.  I am able to mix it in a spray bottle with water and a few drops of tea tree oil which I had before we hit rock bottom.  We learned to use coconut oil for everything.  Your arm hurts?  Coconut oil on that shit.  The baby needs to have her temp taken?  Put coconut oil on that thermometer.  No more K and Y Jelly?  Coconut oil on that dick.  It replaces so many things.

Throughout the years however, I've always spent a great deal of money on bath and body products.  I have psoriasis, I deserve that organic face wash from Africa that helps women run their own business.  I don't worry about wrinkles or firming, or crap like that.  I desire moistness.  I just want to not be dry and horrendously itchy.  Coconut oil can be awesome, but mix it with cocoa butter, shea butter and beeswax, and bam, lotion bars that are amazing.  Individually those ingredients cost money.  Beeswax is the most expensive, however a little goes a long way.  These I can make easily, but soap and shampoo, not so much.  I mean I could, but I'm lazy and afraid of the lye involved.

Today, I went to Lush for the first time.  I had honestly never paid attention to them before because I thought all they made were bath bombs.  I didn't know they had shampoo bars and bar soap and awesomely expensive lotion that I can't afford right now.  So, I'm trying two of their products.  Or rather, my son is trying a bath bomb and I am trying a shampoo bar that promises to soothe my dry itchy scalp.  I also got a sample of their Charity Pot lotion, I put it on my hands at the store and they seem to still be not dry now.  Lotion is one of those things that will always need reapplying through out the day, but if I get a concoction that only needs to be done in the morning and at night, then it is a keeper.  We'll see how these products go.  I can spend ten or more bucks on a bar of organic triple milled soap, and I've wasted a good amount of money on stuff that doesn't work.

Another thing I've actually struggled with is the yarn I purchase.  When available, I make an effort to buy organic cotton, but cotton is notoriously difficult to work with.  Organic wool is way too expensive, even when we had our cushy two incomes.  The problem is I enjoy knitting, but I run out of yarn and instead of ordering a natural product or now, not having enough money, I purchase the cheap acrylic.  Yes it's washable, but it's plastic, and I dress my baby in it, and I feel bad, because she's wearing a plastic sweater.  This is another area where I need to put my foot down and say, no to synthetics.  I have found that an easier and cheaper way to do this is not buy for the sake of the stash. Focus on exactly what project you'd like to make, choose your pattern, calculate your yarn cost, shop around for the best price for the wool, or for you god awful vegan folk, cotton or linen or such, and purchase exactly what you need.  I like to think about it this way, I'm putting so much time and effort into hand knitting, so I might as well purchase a quality yarn and hand wash it gently with a good wool wash.

Right now, I wish we could do more.  But the little things add up and make a difference in our lives.  Hopefully things get better for us, so we can live like we really want to and do things even better for ourselves and the environment.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

American Refugees

With all the complaints about Trump and people swearing they're going to move to Canada, could the phrase "American Refugees" be the next big thing on the news?  Probably not.  Although if you believe some sources, real-estate agents north of the border ( I was totally tempted to type "north of the wall") have had serious inquiries about properties from Americans.

What would that be like?  People fleeing en masse from the "greatest" country in the world?  It's an interesting concept.  See, everyone came here fleeing something else.  So would president Trump, excuse me, let me use his real last name, Drumpf, really be all that bad?

At the end of the day, the president really doesn't affect (am I using the right one?  or is it effect ?) our day to day lives, except to give comedians more material for their monologues.  At least that's the way I feel.

Unlike most Americans, I wouldn't high tail it out to Canada however.  Canada is cold, they speak French in some parts, it would be just as bad as all the damn Spanish around here.  Europe has their own human migration problem, people want to go to Australia as well.  I did too at one point, for the lovely weather, until I researched and found out that there are entirely too many creepy crawlies that can kill you.  So, not fun in the least.

I could go to my ancestral home, except that Greece is being overrun by Syrians.  Greece has it's own damn problems, leave the home of my daddy alone!

So where would I go?  What country would welcome us with open arms and exchange our ugly green paper for their money at a reasonable rate?  I'd go to England.  England has history, but it's also cold, and has perhaps a week worth of sunlight a year.  Not very good for a person of Mediterranean origin who thrives on copious amounts of vitamin D.  South America and Africa are out of the question, too many people are being murdered over drugs and diamonds and such.  The middle east, nope, no thank you there are Jews there and they can't cook.  China has too much pollution, but they do have a burgeoning middle class.  Plus, you can feel more patriotic when making purchases, knowing that it's made local.  This can be an important deal breaker for some of us after all.

So where?  Where in the world could we be safe to practice what religion we wanted, what occupation to have, receive free education for our children?  (No one is talking about college, so fuck you, we NEED people to clean toilets and flip burgers!)  Be able to purchase a home without having to default on an outrageously priced mortgage?  Not get fat from the government allowing Monsanto to grow genetically engineered corn?

Who knows?

I certainly don't.

We're quite the progressive nation compared to the rest of the world.  I doubt one man with piss yellow hair is going to have that much of an impact as to change the entire ecosystem of this country. I could be wrong however, and the landscape featured on the Walking Dead could become our new reality.  Meh.  Meh is what I say, and meh is what I shrug my shoulders at.  It's all meh.

This was all just a thought I had, because it would be terribly entertaining for those anchors on the BBC to say in their British accents "Thousands of American Refugees landed in Heathrow airport today..."  I think it would really give the terrorists in their little bunkers something to laugh at.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

An Introduction to Us

I have been told time and time, and time yet again to write a blog.  You see, I've always been a writer. Never been published, but I have a lot on my mind.  I'm outspoken, politically incorrect, overly opinionated and outlandish.  I have been called eccentric as well as anachronistic.  Former friends accused me of having no tact.  My reply?  I was born and raised in NYC, grew up listening to a father who yelled obscenities in every sentence.  Tact?  No thank you.

I don't care what others think.  I care about three people and a cat.  Perhaps a few others as well, but we'll leave them out of this for now.

Now here's the deal:  The internet is filled with morons (and maybe I'm one of them) that only do one thing.  Like "beauty" or cupcakes or crochet, or sex with cacti, to each their own, but they are morons nonetheless.  Just as a side note, I am allowed to say morons as a born and bred New Yorker, and as such, I can also use the word retard.  Also, I don't care if it offends you.  This is the internet, there are pictures of people doing "beauty" as well as pictures of people having sex with horses.  C'est la vie!

I digress, I am not one of those morons who does one thing.  You see, I am a multi faceted human being who is capable of many things and have learned to do those many things long before the internet came about because I was a good little Greek girl who learned to do many things out of sheer necessity, or because I was expected to become a good wife one day.  I can cook very well, and of course I can, because I am Greek, by definition Greek people can cook well.  I bake my own bread a few times a week because American bread sucks and contains enough sugar to quickly render one diabetic.  I knit, everyday, I learned at age 5.  I am that bitch who knows how to make useful garments out of sheep hair to keep my man warm in this god forsaken frozen waste land that is Jersey.

Other things I can do: build IKEA furniture.  Many people can't.  They are idiots.  It's not that difficult.  I have put all my furniture together by myself because my husband Shadow can be a lazy ass.  I can fix things and install things.

There are so many things that I can do, so this blog will not just be about one thing.  I have many talents and interests.  I was a musician, a teacher, I am a Pokemon trainer and have been one since 1998, I am Wiccan as is Shadow and together we study and practice as eclectic Wiccans.  We both come from former Christian backgrounds, we won't bash you, but you have to admit that there is something seriously wrong with the Abrahamic religions in general.  Don't tell me what to wear or eat.  I shall do as I will, an it harm none.

Shadow will introduce himself as he sees fit.  He's a blast really.  Well, not really, we're hippies, and he's just a pot smoking Cali boy, but I promise there is much more to him than that, if he can remember what it is.

So.  Maybe this blog will be all over the place.  Maybe you're looking for a specific thing and want to know what our opinion on it is, because it is truly very important to seek information from strangers on the internet.  For example, we support Trump, because he's a billionaire and this is America God damn it!  We can talk about the crystals we own and use.  Shadow can go on about various things that I can't.  It's all fun and games in our apartment!

Even if no one reads, or comments, who cares.  What matters is that I get my thoughts on screen and forever saved in order to embarrass my children later in life.  It is worth it.

That is all, until tomorrow, or whenever I feel like writing again.  I won't promise dates and times, I'm a bitch, I cater to no one.  You will wait and when the next post comes, it comes.  Have patience, it's another thing I was taught to have without the use of the internet.