Saturday, June 17, 2017

Wicca and People Who Are Going Through Puberty

Damn straight I'm writing this post.

I was a teenage Wiccan once.  Back when I was 13 as I've stated countless times before.  Back when the internet was just a suckling babe yet to be tainted by morons and crazies.  Yes there was porn, as viewing naked people is important for human satisfaction; pleasure predates time.

Back then, when we wanted to learn something, we went to the library and if the library didn't have what we wanted and we had a bit of cash, then we went to Barnes and Noble and purchased the title we wished to read.

We didn't go online asking complete strangers if they thought we were vampires or lycanthropes (that's wolf man in Greek people), because we knew what really went down in Wicca from the books we read.  Works composed by the very founders of our Neo Pagan religion.

Here's the thing kids: hormones fuck your body up.  You're emotional and feel out of place and awkward and are searching for some way to stand out from the pack of germ breeders.  You do not need to drink blood to survive, you don't feel something emerging during the full moon (girls, I may have to address this for you specifically later).  It's all estrogen and testosterone messing with other chemicals in your brain.  You're not thinking rationally.

Some of you may be rational and self actualized, and well that is bittersweet.  Because those of my friends and myself who were not thinking ourselves to be elves or wizards, had gone through some type of trauma in our lives. Thus, forcing our developing brains to mature and come to terms with reality prematurely.  So consider yourself lucky that you're going about this teenage business without having been shot at or dealing with a terrible illness.  Congratulations, if you really want to be a fairy at 13 then you're normal.

However, these beliefs do not excuse you from not doing research.  Erasing years of a previous religion is work!  But don't be lazy, please.  The internet is filled with idiots and then there are the 41 year old creepers who will say "oh you too, wow, I've been searching for so long for another (insert mythical being here), we have to chat!"

My children have been raised Wiccan and only know a bit about Greek Orthodoxy which I grew up on.  I still have to teach my son who is getting to be that age, to READ published books on the subject and not just pop into a chat room to ask any old schmuck religious questions.

My son doesn't believe he's a vampire or werewolf or merman and thank the Gods, he hasn't found some moron discussing breathaireanism (this is a thing, do not do it, it's medically impossible and I trust medicine because my ancestors who worshiped Zues also wrote the Hippocratic oath).

I can not stress this enough children.  Pick up a book.  I know your parents were idiots and gave you iPads instead of books, but please listen to this Mother Witch.  Read the classics.  Research the founders.  Hell, read up on what happens to the human brain during puberty so you have a better understanding of how you're thinking.

Wicca is a religion, we worship a God and Goddess or entire Pantheon.  Some of us practice witchcraft which is a practice steeped in thousands of years of human ritual.  These rituals gave our ancestors meaning and helped them commune with the divine, it helped them understand the seasons and the natural world around them.

I can put fairy wings on my daughter for a ritual, but she will know that her DNA is human and not that of the Fae.  My son can say that he likes his pointy vampire teeth but he knows that trying to drink blood can lead to HIV or hepatitis.

The world is a scary place sometimes but you don't need to be reckless.

Stay away from people who say they will teach you.  They can't unless you're 18.  This is law.

Stay away from people who say they are part (insert supernatural entity here).  They're not.  They're lying or if they truly believe that then there is something wrong with them psychologically.

Don't solicit yourself online.  Don't tell people your age, don't ask for teachers, don't ask to join covens or circles or other groups.  And certainly don't tell people where you live and give out your real name and number.  Do not use hangouts, because instead of a nice chat you're more than likely going to see a dick hanging out instead.

I enjoy giving advice but I don't deal in false hope.  Another common question I've seen on the communities lately is a spell for changing ones gender.  This is such a complex issue.  First off, no there isn't one.  Gender is who you are mentally, spiritually, psychologically.  This is NOT the same as sex.  Humans can have male external genitalia and know deep down inside them that they are a woman and enjoy those things which are typical of womanhood.  Spells can not change these things.  If you are dealing with these issues, then I want you to know it's OK.  The Gods don't care about any of that, but there are hotlines you can text and call and organizations that can help you.

So, now that we have a clear understanding that the alleged beast within is not forthcoming, I want you all to fucking meditate on this shit, like dead ass for realz yo.

Blessed Be, peace out, toodle-oo and because it's pride month: bye bye mein lieber herr! 😉


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