Missing My Shadow

Shadow standing in front of Trump Tower on 5th Ave.


No, I'm not literally missing my shadow.(Isn't that a mark of vampires or some such being?  You already know how I feel about them.)

I'm missing Shadow, my man, my baby's daddy, my lover, my partner in crime (that oh so sexy bearded man pictured above) and fellow practitioner of the craft.

Last time, I was on vacation by myself with the kids (going to various doctors is a full time job for him and can't be missed) but I didn't miss him.  In fact I purposely said some mean words and a whole lot of other things because I was angry and upset and tired of feeling like I'm going to kiel over and die all the damn time. I was sick to death of him forgetting to use his CPAP machine, I was beyond angry at how one minute I couldn't walk and the next neither could he, on top of all my joints being severely swollen, his back causing him to scream in pain and fucking all else.  We've been through fucking hell ๐ŸŒ‹!

Nonetheless, I love him...๐Ÿ’

I love him, truly and deeply, and while yes it's nice to be away, it's annoying because we've never been on vacation together even though we've made plans several times (again, my auto immune disease and his spinal injury).

We also didn't want to go on the typical couples weekend away of sun and beach or a cruise or Las Vegas or something dumb like that.

We had bigger dreams, spiritual dreams, dreams only two highly seasoned Wiccans/Pagans can have!

Mother Fucking STONEHENGE.

Other places we've discussed:
Salem, MA (๐Ÿ”ฎDuh!)
Cairo, Egypt (too much turmoil)
Athens, Greece (my Homeland, which I shall rant about at a later date because it's a story so steeped in American stupidity that: forgettaboutit.)
San Francisco, CA (his home town๐Ÿš‹)
Arizona (Crystal๐Ÿ’Ž digging)
Williamsburg, Virginia (I like history ok?!)
Colorado (420 ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿšฌ)
Mohonk Mountain House in upstate NY (very specific and if you see pictures you'll understand it's a historians/paranormalphile/Pagan's drug of choice, even Anthony Bourdain has been there)

There are other places, but that's basically it.

One day we will get there.  When all has healed and we are in a settled place we shall go.

That's the whole shitty thing about this in sickness and in health crap.  You never know which end of the stick you'll get as a couple.  We were fucking slammed, Shanghaied, brutalized and left to rot with sickness.

Yet, we're alive.  We made it through the hurricane, Shadow (thank the Gods) isn't dead or paralyzed, he can walk with a cane even though his legs are partially numb.  I'm not in a wheelchair even though I was pretty damned close, but I'm left with damaged joints beyond repair.  We have faith yes and have done countless rituals, spells, healings and protections, but on the muggle side of things we still have to visit all the doctors (like I said before, a full time job for him) go to other appointments, do page after page of paperwork and still raise our kids and keep our place of understanding secure.

So when I get back to NYC, I'm going to hold him and hug him and love him and give him a giant kiss ๐Ÿ˜˜.

As soon as we're better and used to our new normal we're going to take that much earned trip with each other and fuck all else.

Blessed Be!
๐ŸŒ›๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒœ



Comments

  1. I wouldn't suggest Salem Mass. I grew up near there really isn't that good. They have these tacky dioramas about the trials and stuff. I don't know about getting stoned in Colorado but mountains are nice, if you like Rockies. I prefer Blue Ridge or Green Mountains of Maine and Vermont.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Will pray for you and husband and children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much.

      I didn't know what else to put... M husband is on medical weed. He capes the oil, no smoking involved and no THC either only CBD I may try the pills because he is completely off the opioids. But I am conflicted because it is one of those medicines that was used in Indian that we've now bastardized and misuse.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts