Doves in the Walls
Pigeons are rock doves. They’re just gross. I took pictures of the broken window that the neighbor left when she moved. It clearly shows a pigeon mid flight entering the apartment to go do whatever the fuck pigeons do. For days now we’ve been hearing them as if they’re in the walls, but no, they’re just chilling in the bathroom of the apartment next door.
Pigeons are loud. They sing and croon and sometimes they sound like a non verbal autistic child banging their head against the wall, or a woman mid coitus moaning with a gag in her mouth, depending on your level of prudishness. Or, a retard, see, unlike you politically correct puritans, I grew up saying the word retard and it sounds absolutely fabulous in a heavy NY accent.
Back to the pigeons. They wake me up every morning because they sit on my fire escape and the air conditioner that’s been in the window since Shadow passed because I literally can’t fit in anywhere else. And as I stated, those flea bitten assholes are loud. Too loud. And they won’t shut up either. It’s relentless.
As of today the window is still not fixed. I’m certainly not calling the maintenance number. Not my job nor my fault they don’t take better care of their building. It’s not my apartment and it doesn’t affect me. So, we shall see how long things play out. Will they wind up with an eviction notice on the door of a place that no one lives in? How long before they send the court marshal to kick them out and discover an apartment floor covered inches thick in bird excrement?
You know me, I love drama and this is some nice quiet drama, unlike the train wreck that is Hudson downstairs. Maybe I’ll update when it gets resolved. My sister did say to keep her informed in case anyone moved out so they could live here too. It’s the cheapest building in one of the nicest and most expensive neighborhoods in NJ, bonus: there is weed and drugs, but without the gun shots! Seriously rich people love their cocaine.
Ciao!
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