A Blue Candle for Shadow

Last night was rough.  I had an unsettling dream about Shadow which I won’t go into too many details here.  Toward the end of the dream I was in a church, in tears holding a light blue candle for him.

I woke up exhausted, but knowing that today, I had to get him a blue candle.

18 months ago when he passed away, a very good friend of mine suggested I place a Virgin of Guadalupe candle for Shadow on my altar.  I thought it was perfect and immediately picked one up at Dollar Tree.  Since then, I burn it here or there, always letting him know I miss him and love him, and that I hope he’s at peace, you know so he doesn’t take to haunting me.

However, after a while, I would light that candle for other people too.  Like for Will (the friend who told me to purchase the candle) when he was in the hospital, Sneak, when she had hurt her arm and just the other day Arin, when she had to have not one, but two surgeries!  This candle has served me well and I send a pic of it lit to the folks who need it.  

I’m not a fibber when it comes to my thoughts and prayers.  I get up, I light incense, I light the candle.  I ask the Goddess to help my friends get better and I give a good wack to my Tibetan singing bowl three times.  Then, I let the candle burn until it feels right to snuff it out, which is usually an hour or two later.

Well, I think Shadow was tired of sharing his candle.  He didn’t have to traumatize me with the dream though.  So now, I have this giant deep blue (they didn’t have light blue) candle that has his name carved in it as well as a pentacle that I added glitter glue to because Shadow would have been totally into that.

I went to the Botanica on Bergenline for it.  I found a few other little supplies I can use as well.  Like a bottle of Florida Water which was Shadow’s favorite for blessing and cleansing, a small pouch of dried lavender, always useful, and a few spell candles in different colors.  I go through them of course.  Ingredients like that I deem consumables like we called the crayons and paper in preschool.  You’re always buying more. I also left the store a favorable 5 star review on Google Maps.  By the way, their prices are amazing!  Metaphysical stores geared toward white people are way too expensive.  I got seven spell candles for a dollar!

Now, here is where I shake my head and say, yep, that’s Shadow for ya.

Ana and I were speaking to his mother on FaceTime and I mentioned I had dreamt of him and me needing to light this blue candle and that I went out and purchased one from the Botanica.  Well, I kid you not, she told me she had just purchased blue and white LED candles for her home!

Ain’t that something?

I feel much better now.  And I’m hoping I won’t have any disturbing dreams tonight.

Here is a pic of the candle lit and on the altar:

I’ll light his candle whenever I feel compelled to.  Or if Ana wants it lit as well.

As Shadow would have said “what a trip!”.