The Protocol of Dr. Omola

I was gonna get a rando pic of a witch doctor, but that would be mad racist yo.

Strap yourselves in folks, you're in for a bumpy ride.

This "doctor" only has two services on their website, which I encourage you to visit in order to get a good chuckle.  Laughter is the best medicine after all.

I'm gonna link it here, cause that's just the type of crazy bitch I am:

Dr. Omola

He'll get a ton of clicks, but no business.

Anyway, two services are: "herpes cure", because you know Nigerian men gotta get that shit removed so they can continue fucking virgins to cure themselves of HIV; and Asthma, which, to be honest, I didn't even know was a thing in Nigeria.  "Herpes Cure" costs a whopping 380 bucks, for a one hour session, and "Asthma Cure" costs, I kid you not, 570 bucks, which let's be honest; that can probably take care of you for an entire year in Nigeria.

Now, I only know about this "doc", cause someone by the screen name "Ryan Lisa", ultra super white person name, with ultra super white looking picture, has been commenting the same thing on all of my posts.  About how she was "cured" from Herpes and you have to call this doctor on his what's app.  You know that app that only rapists in India use.

Such fun!

Who needs pesky creams and pills when you can just take some herbal cocktail Dr. Omola gives you, for the low price of nearly 400 bucks?  Am I mad to not consider this?  I don't even have herpes!

He also removes spells, yada yada yada.  Blah, blah, blah.

Sure sounds like witchcraft to me, which thanks to a quick Google search, I know is illegal in Nigeria.  It's section 210 of the Criminal Code Act, part c.

Here's the thing folks.  This person comes from a place that heavily believes in the act of cursing, hexing and juju.  They also believe that albino children's body parts hold magical powers and thus amputate their arms and legs to fetch money on the black market.

The sick fucks.

I am all for practicing indigenous beliefs, but that shit right there, needs to be left in the time of Columbus.

It's one thing to practice traditional healing with herbs and roots, some plants are very excellent medicines, but many ailments have no cure, and mutilating or killing a child is pure evil, plain and simple.  There is a special place in hell for people like that, and that's coming from a Wiccan who doesn't even believe in hell.

Imagine the trouble I could get in, if I collected my psoriatic dead skin flakes in a bag and sold it as a cure for cancer.  I would be sent to a psychiatric ward.

So why are these "doctors" allowed to advertise their alleged services in America?  Why haven't they gotten in trouble in their home countries?  I mean the corruption over there is insane, so that's probably your answer in a nutshell right there.  Nigeria has the highest cases of malaria in the world, yet, you don't see these doctors getting rid of that do you?

I was once told that the priority of drug makers when it comes to cures is in fact malaria, I learned this when I told my doctor the entire list of medications I had tried in my life.  Psoriasis drugs are few and far between because those diseases killing thousands of children in Africa are more important.

As a fat ass white girl in America, I agree.  No one is attacking me with a cheese grater so they can use my flakes in a spell to get back together with their cheating HIV ridden spouse.

So doctor.

What is your malaria protocol?

Malaka.