Happy Birthday to Me!


Today I am 36 years old.  Thank the Gods I do not feel it... mostly anyway.

I feel good, I’m not depressed or anxious as so many people are, and I have made it another year, again, as many people have not.  I am grateful to be alive, relatively healthy and doing alright.  I don’t even mind all the greys in my hair.

This was my birthday in quarantine.  Not that I ever do much for birthdays anyway.  It’s really about celebrating for my Dino after all.  Anything I want gets the back burner, but today I was bored and decided to go to the only safe place I can go during this insanity.  Trader Joe’s.  Every year I get coupons for free food, coffee, cookies, makeup and money towards things.  I can’t use those coupons this year.  First of all, and most importantly: Covid.  Second, money, I can’t treat myself to new spectacular things.  Third, I don’t need those things.

My small birthday haul.

After Ana’s virtual school, we hopped on the bus down the hill to Hoboken so I could buy a few treats.  I was really hoping they had this new essential oil roll on set and they did, so I go it, and they’re lovely.  I’m lying in bed typing this and wearing the sleep one, it’s really very nice, not too strong at all.

All four smell amazing, and the rollers are metal!

I bought flowers for myself, because let’s face it, I deserve it and no one else was going to buy me any, so why not?  Not bad for 3.99.  Ana had a conniption in the middle of the store because she wanted flowers too.  Like heck no little girl, it’s my birthday not yours.

For dinner I made some of the meatballs and the entire bag of gnocchi. It was nice not having to wash multiple pots and dishes.  I air fried the meatballs to make it even easier.

We had a bit of the cake, it’s so decadent that you really only can have the exact serving size. Ana wanted me to put candles on it, which I declined.  She then admitted that she’s jealous of other people’s birthdays, hence her behavior on my special day.  At least she told me her feelings, which is the important thing.

Other activities for today were celebrating on my island in Animal Crossing which I don’t play as much as I did when I first got the game. My islanders even got me a piñata.  I also played several rounds of Pokémon TCG so I could unlock the free virtual packs that I’ve been neglecting for going on ten years now.  I have 12 more decks to get through each deck requires 12 games against the computer so it’s way faster than playing a live player at least.

Then, I had tea and did my birthday tarot reading.  I found an interesting spread online:

My pocket Thoth, because it fits on the table!

This reading was filled with cups.  Too many cups if you ask me.  If I had gotten this many cups last year, it would have many sense, all that emotion while I was grieving heavily, but not this year, this year my grief is still there but dulled.  I didn’t like this reading at all really, except the first card.  I’m not going to type out each individual meaning.  Suffice to say that I may have to proceed with caution when it comes to the goals I set for myself during New Year’s Day.  Maybe I should have gone with a lighter, less serious deck.  Thoth can be so weighted.

My evening concluded with the usual, helping Ana get ready for bed, making sure everything is locked and turned off, having a short bubble bath and now lying in bed typing this before I read and go to sleep.

Not a bad birthday at all.



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