Saturday, January 7, 2017

The Place We Fell In Love

We took our lovely Dino boy to The Met today, and I mentioned that it was there, in one of the Egyptian wings, that Shadow and I fell in love.  I don't think I've written about it before, so here it is:

We were friends you see, and he had asked me, as a born and bred New Yorker to show him around town as a recent transplant from San Fransisco.  Our common interest was our religion, so as Wiccan's it was only natural to make it a day at The Met.

I never intended to fall in love again.  I didn't want to, and was in no way, shape or form open to it.  Yet, it happened nonetheless.  It was sudden too.  Shadow was pointing out a particular artifact (I don't even remember which one), and I remember feeling this overwhelming energy and the desire to kiss that man right then and there.  Well, about a week later, when we were hanging out again, he told me that he didn't want to alarm me, but had suddenly felt the need to kiss me at the museum.  I promptly said "shut the fuck up!", and removed my journal from my bag, turned back a few pages and showed him the entry from that day.  So, we kissed.

The rest is obviously history, and perhaps some time, I'll write about the African fertility statue that we both touched shortly before conceiving our little girl.

~)) O ((~

So... we had fun at the museum, as a family.  Dino loves the armor and swords, and even wanted to look at the furniture.  Ana followed her brother around, looking up at him, hardly believing he was there as he showed her the different things to see.

The weather was terrible today, and Dino wanted to play out in the snow.  While we sat down to coffee and snacks in the cafe, he watched and children sled down the hill in Central Park.  It sucks that he can't be here with us, I could have taken him to play in the park down the street, but we have what fun we can with the little time we have.

I'm happy that they both seemed to have a good time, it's been a long time since we were at The Met, Dino usually requests dinosaurs instead of mummies.


In other news, I have been sent back to Wellness, no special job program for me until I get better.  A supervisor saw that I had an outbreak of psoriasis on my face, said "you didn't have that last week" and thus, back to medical I went.  Now, I saw a new doctor, who advised that I see a homeopath

ASAP, and sent me directly across the street to imaging for a bone density scan.

I'm an old lady and it's not fun.

Initially they told me, that I'd be a great candidate for one of those nice cushy city jobs or perhaps even a call center, maybe for dispatch, 911, or 311. That would be cool.  Something different.

But no.  Stelara doesn't work the 3 months it should, so now I have to find a new rheumatologist. And an eye doctor before the medication I'm on destroys my vision.  Great.

I feel as if I'm in a catch 22, on the one hand, I suffer in pain and work my ass off full time so I can afford a homeopath and on the other I get better with conventional (and starting to become dangerous) medications and go back to working part time only so that I don't get worse and stay relatively stress free.  I don't know what to do.

Before my wonderful little boy came, I got better with the help of an acupuncturist, and I was in great health for years.  After Ana however, all hell broke loose.  After speaking with so many doctors in various fields, a few have said the same thing, that after working full time, and going to two different schools, then pregnancy, I finally experienced burn out.  Every psoriasis website I have ever gone to says that psoriasis patients need to take it easy, that too much stress can make us sick.

I was feeling great during that year.  It was my first full time job, I was biking and walking everywhere, I loved my classes at NYU and got a 3.8 GPA and scholarships, and I felt it was all easy. My job was easy, too easy really, school was a breeze as well.  The class at Rutgers for work was an out right joke, but I'll save that for another day.

After all that, it was too much.

I think I have now realized that, my body just can't handle it.  I should have just stuck to working part time, then perhaps, I could have maintained my previous healthy baseline.

I need to get back to that, I'm tired of medication, injections, and still feeling like I've been run over my a steam roller.  I'm exhausted for no damn reason and it's not fair.

I'm going to make my appointments on Monday, and hope things can go well from now on.  I'm home now, and I'm happy, but I want to be in good health for myself and my children so I can enjoy my home city to its fullest.


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