Behold! My New Water Bottle!

Today was one of those days where the universe decides that it knows better than you do and that you, well, I, better listen.

The day began like every other, famine, war, Chernobyl inexplicably in the news again...

Ana had forgotten her Chromebook (fuck those things!) and her teacher emailed me to see if I could bring it before lunch time was over.  (Yes, make the poor disabled widow get on an NJ Transit bus in the dead of winter.)  It was freezing, I didn't want to leave the sanctity of my IKEA sofa.  But I donned my Birks, put the computer in my "Give A Shit" tote bag and caught the bus to Palisades Ave.

At some point I found a nickle.  I dropped off the Chromebook, and while walking back, I thought, man, I could go to Unique (the thrift shop).   But I was cold, and didn't wanna.  Then, I found a dime and soon after, another nickle.  I knew it was Shadow and possibly the universe telling me to get my fat ass to the thrift store.  Many people will think I'm crazy when I talk about Shadow and his fucking dimes, but if you ever wanted to choose a time to believe in esoteric mumbo jumbo, now is that time.

I got there, grateful for the walk (over 9000 steps total today, thank you very much) and the crisp wintry air.  The shelves were kind of bare, but I found some great stuff.  A copy of Cloud Cuckoo Land, which I wanted to read a while ago, the red edition of Cards Against Humanity for Dino, and a couple of other little things.  When I went to the "special" section, aka the expensive stuff they don't know how to price, I found the real gem, pun totally intended.  This Glacce water bottle with clear quartz.  It's priced at 96 bucks on the official website, which is completely and utterly ludicrous.  I paid 20 bucks for it.

I am now very much the proud owner of this absolutely ridiculous, outlandish and ostentatious quartz crystal water bottle, and I love it.  It's mine.  

Fuck you.

Obligatory dick pic:

Yeah, you like that right?

I’ll stop now.

One more on the floor boards:

Maybe I had just got done with yoga or meditation.  Or maybe I was eating dark chocolate covered bamba on the aforementioned IKEA sofa while watching bombs go boom on Eyewitness News.  You’ll never know dear reader.

Stay safe and hydrated homies.

🚰